The Unborn (David S. Goyer, 2009)
The guy who brought this movie said the first half hour was the scariest film he’s ever seen, and he had to turn it off. He brought it in hopes of inflicting the same terror onto us, unsuspecting strangers (Well, he knew everyone, I knew no one, he was a stranger to me, so it sticks). Alas! The movie is neither frightening nor the “blank” of anything anyone has ever seen. Perhaps the most awkward integration of the Holocaust ever to be commited to screen? Maybe that works, but even so, I’m sure there are worse instances. We cannot blame this poor child though, he was colour blind, and the box art was no doubt monochromatic, he could have simply confused this with a different film with upside down dog faces. I don’t recommend this film under any circumstance, especially if you can see the full colour spectrum.
Dementia 13 (Francis Coppola, 1963)
This is a film by an unknown talent called Francis Coppola. The one known as Francis Ford Coppola came later and was the born from the former, when he crashed into a model T. Not the other way around, because as a man of the twentieth century, he was far more hardy and probably moved far quicker than the model black. This film was something of a dream, faded in between beers, a mirage of unrestored black and white carnage. There were dreams, reflections in the water… and axe murders. I could pretend that I saw something in it, that if I were to watch this when it was released that I could have been the one who would say “this kid is going places”. I don’t think I would have been that person, I don’t think I could have predicted the rise and fall of Ford.
Trick ‘r Treat (Michael Dougherty, 2009)
Already like an old friend, we’ve met before, but not long ago. I feel as though I’ve known you forever, but it’s been but a few months. Things were not quite as sweet as they were that first time, but what is? I suppose some things improve with practise and time, but at least this does not depreciate. Anna Paquin as a brunette is enchanting, and I wish my own problems were so simple. I could engage in her breed of carnage if it were necessary and compulsive, but actual interpersonal interactions; never. That segment always affects me, because they allow me to empathise so deeply with her, to feel her extreme social anxiety and pain, and then they strip it away. I find it satisfying and yet, so infuriating.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Tobe Hopper, 1974)
We meet yet again, and this time… it is much sweeter. We were innocent when we last met, and now, I feel like we understand each other far better. You’re more beautiful and nuanced, your colours pop, and your low angle butt shots have far more elegance than they ought to. What a tease, you make everything seem so effortless and easy. I can’t believe you don’t know what you’re saying and what you’re doing with me. Every action is so elaborate, and yet, so fluid. I feel the sun shining in my eyes, and I’m all cut up inside. It’s terrible, and gratifying. I don’t want to hear the words, only revel in the carnage. I wish I were so long and thin and beautiful, but it was never meant to be, at least I’m in one piece (physically, that is), it’s more than I could say for you.
The Dead Zone (Cronenberg, 1983)
Why didn’t anyone tell me Martin Sheen was in this? Walken is great and all, but I ADORE Sheen. This film should be watched with the West Wing in mind. Though I can’t say I ever really watched the show, I imagine it would be somehow subversive. Though this film has the very familiar machine meets humanity aspect, notably in keeping Johnny alive against all odds. The effect it has on him, the gift that it inspires is almost a curse, an example of transferring the qualities of God to man. The film also extends the extension of machine, beyond mechanics and medicine as in the previous film, moving into wider and less concrete institution of human “ingenuity” like the political machine. The film is remarkably well made, and the visions are among the best I’ve seen committed to film. They’re all very striking and intensely beautiful and disturbing. One of Cronenberg’s best.